Blueberry jam-packed June

Morning darklings,

June has been a jam-packed month. There has been real jam—of the blueberry variety. But also metaphorical jam—of the more events than I can keep track of variety.

I feel like I haven’t stopped moving. Which is to say, all I want to do is sleep through July.

Having people over takes energy. There’s the cleaning up beforehand, the social aspect while they’re there, the cleanup after. There’s cooking and planning. There is worrying I’m not the hostess I know I am—that I was raised to be. But it’s the kind of energy I know how to plan for. So having friends over a few days throughout the month was stressful and took spoons, but they were the good kind, the easy-to-recover-from kind. It was nice to have this kind of exhaustion. How I’ve missed it—living in the inhospitable place I did for so long.

A peaceful, joyful protest, with speakers and a march and chants like I was in a sports arena was uncharted territory. But after listening to powerful speakers and reading signs and wading through people of every walk of life for a short while, I just couldn’t do anymore. My legs were wobbly and my shoulders burned and my back pain was louder than the collective voices were with their polite callbacks. My friend and I found a space on an overpass and leaned over to watch the 50,000 people march and sing and laugh and show love for democracy and reclaim the American flag. It filled my cup. The exhaustion from it was a kind of activism, showing up for the spoonie community that couldn’t, along with just wearing my handmade No Kings shirt.

Visiting doctors has become such a part of my life that it’s more about bracing for impact than much else. Wearing but doable. So even the good ones I had felt like pinches to my sore body—bullies, really.

I took a glass fusing class for my birthday activity! It was an hour of fun. Pure amusement for amusement’s sake. A birthday treat that I can’t wait to do again and again and again. Sure, my back ached because I needed to be laying down, but in a way, I always need to be laying down. This is the kind of reason to get up and move around and enjoy life. Just me, the hubs, and pretty shards of glass.

Everything packed, everything planned, Claw Machine’s launch was meant to be one of the easy days. I show up, have someone else take the stuff inside, the authors were reading almost everything. I just had to be charming. I had it all figured out. Only, of course, I didn’t. Things went awry. Last minute changes needed to be made. Stress reared its head. I couldn’t use my cane for part of the event because of the size of the space, so I relied on chair backs. So, I hurt. I had to put on my hostess face. The one I don’t use anymore, because I only invite people into my home that can see my pain face, understand that I need to rest, will not judge if I’m in pajamas. But the put-on smile appeared without warning as a defense mechanism. I’m glad it did. The event was lovely, and I would have hated my pain and exhaustion to have soured that. When I say lovely, I do mean so well. Standing room only, some people left because there were no seats, every author was a tremendous speaker, people laughed or gasped or stayed silent in their discomfort, readers wanted my autograph and complimented the unique format, I made money, and the mini claw machine was a hit kind of well. But did that make it easier for me to recover? Of course not. The protest was the next day, so I didn’t really rest on Sunday so much as crash into a chair and lose myself in a video game. And I still haven’t recovered, despite having done things since.

Tuesday’s online reading was meant to be cake. Log on and read. Worry still showed up. So, of course, it took more out of me than planned. I sat at a strange angle too. So my body is paying an hour and a half of an online event. But it also went well. This time, the authors read their own works, and they were great. Christy from Vintage Books asked us all a lot of good questions, so it became a cool conversation along with the reading. I’m so pleased that people who couldn’t attend the in-person event could show up to this one. So don’t forget to go watch it! It’s living on YouTube so you can!

Now, all that’s left is TeaFest, then June will be done. It will have been the busiest month of the year. Also, the one I remember the most of.

Looking ahead at July, I see fewer events. I see a window for me to cut my hair so my default won’t involve a ponytail holder. I see more iced tea. I see some time for thinking and re-evaluating, as I love to do every once in a while. I see a few hours here and there when I could make new ads for my books, now that I love my new website and it’s easier to maintain. I see some space for me to consider new opportunities. What a world.

Oh, a sale!

All of my ebooks (with the exception of Claw Machine and So Simple Soft Foods) will be on sale for the entire month of July as part of the Smashwords Annual Summer/Winter Sale!

I will do another sale this year. The week of Black Friday, my website will have an exclusive sale. But if you can’t wait… mark your calendars for July 1st! You’ll visit this link and search for me!

Until next time, harness the Little darknesses and embrace the Little things.