For every success, there is a failure + news

Morning darklings,

The Kickstarter was a smashing success! I thought I’d scrape by with enough to buy the books and pay the authors—or maybe not even that. I ended up reaching the stretch goal. That means my authors get paid more, which feels really good. As we all know, I’m broke and Disabled. But damned if I don’t love to create and uplift. Often my creations cost me little to nothing. Paying 17 people, though… that’s real money. So this was huge!

Thank you to all who contributed!

It’s come to my attention that I’m using fretting over commas I have looked at five times, checking that I’ve got everyone’s updated stories again, confirming the Edward Gorey style deaths are interesting enough for the third time, and other such type-A behaviors to stall. It’s not a surprise mind you, I’m not lying to myself or hiding that I’m stalling. I know it’s happening.

The anthology Claw Machine is well-written, crazy unique, engaging, well-edited (I can say this without hubris because the stories came to me edited; I just found some things, helped tightened them up as needed, which wasn’t always much). The deaths have been looked over by many people, not just me, deemed worthy of publication—cool even.

So I don’t need to tinker. It’s done.

But I do. For reasons.

The thing is, my novella’s second draft is done. I finished it a week ago. But for once, instead of rushing to email it to my beta readers, I hesitated. I’ve sent off first drafts before—zero drafts, some might even be called. But this time, I found myself unable to even attach the document, let alone hit send.

She’s not what I want, this novella.

She started off as a slow speculative crip horror. I was loving her so much. But then, life happened. It derailed a plot line, it broke me, it saw me deleting and shredding and not writing and doing other things.

When I went back to her, I saw so much goodness there. I love her. I really do. But something’s missing. She’s a speculative crip fic story now. The horror is gone. A part of me is happy about that. A part of me thought that was muddying the point of the story. Another part worries that without that tension, she’s too much of an indie movie. The kind you watch and think wow, so many pretty things and also not much happened. Those are some of my favorite movies, to be fair. But do others enjoy them?

Whoa buddy. Am I talking about reader expectations? Am I, Elizabeth Mitchell, putting readers ahead of the story? Does that not show a bit of floundering? You know I love you all—cherish everything you are and how you show up for me—but the story comes first. Even above what I want, what I thought it should be, what my outline said, what my photo collage predicted, what my playlist planned for. You enjoy it more that way, and so do I. That’s been proven time and time again. Your personal emails tell me so. My joy at the end tells me so. Thus, the story must come first.

And the truth is—much to my chagrin—it took a week to sort through it, but I know how to fix her. I’m just indignant. I’m mad that I have to do more work. I’m sad that I didn’t get the choice.

Instead of lamenting… for too long, I hit the keyboard a few days ago.

Honestly, it’s kind of beautiful. I don’t mean my words, I mean the story that’s coming out.

I’ve never written one long metaphor—beyond a rambling paragraph that’s obvious. But that’s what this book is.

She’s about disability, about being in a haunted body, about coming to grips with herself and grief. And that’s scary and sad and brutal and soft and sweet and poignant. That’s really fucking complicated.

To bastardize Alanis Morissette’s song:

She’s literary. She’s speculative. She’s horror in between. You know we wouldn’t want it any other way.

[the real lyrics:

I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way]

NEWS #1

I have loved making Claw Machine. It’s been an absolutely frustrating magical experience. Which means, of course, that I must do it again.

I sought out voices I love when I put it together, made it invite only. It was a nice way to dip into solo anthology making. That being said, I’m ready to try something different. As I always am. 

The longer you hang around, darklings, the longer you know I have to keep trying new things, exploring, playing.

In the case of my next anthology, that means I’ll be doing slush.

Not familiar with the term? It just means that I’m opening the submission pool to anyone and everyone. There’s no age limit. There are no accolades requirement. I want fresh stories, unique voices, and hopefully, a bunch of people who haven’t been given a chance before.

Starting September 1st and through November 1st, I will be accepting submissions!

The theme? CLOCKS

Of course I chose another object. Of course.

More info on littlekeypress.com, including the submission guidelines and how I choose the stories. You know me, I’m very big on transparency.

I hope you’ll consider writing and look forward to reading your stories!

This won’t be the only time I mention it, but I won’t bombard you with it. As usual, it’ll be at the end of the newsletter—footnotes to the mood boards and essays. ❤️ I want you to remember, but I have much to tell you, much to share.

NEWS #2

I’ve got some events coming up! FOUR, in fact!

First up:

May 17th at BOLD Coffee & Books in Portland, OR—Small & Self Publishing Faire

*I’ll be a headliner! I’m reading right after the closing speaker Wendi Shih. What am I reading? That’s a damned good question. It’s a 10 minute reading, so probably my second claw machine story. I wrote two on accident. They came to me in the same day, and one fit better in the anthology. But I love the other one so much, I have to share it!

Next is for Art Born Words, the anthology based around Steve Graziani's art. Each etching got a story! I wrote two stories and was the Editor-in-Chief.

May 24th at BOLD Coffee & Books in Portland, OR—Art Born Words launch party

The next two are for Claw Machine.

June 13th at Up Up Books in Portland, OR—Claw Machine launch party

*There will be a mini claw machine stuffed with goodies. We’ll have as many of the authors as we can there (more details closer to time). We’ll be reading and laughing and having a wonderful evening! If you already bought a book, bring it as a token for the claw machine! If not, you can buy one when you come. :)

June 24th online—Claw Machine reading

*Thanks to Vintage Books in Vancouver, WA for hosting us! We’ll be doing quick readings and answering a mystery question, so it’s worth stopping by for even if you came to the launch party! And who knows, maybe I’ll convince everyone to read no-context sections.

No link to this yet, but I’ll get it to you as soon as I have one.

question of the week

What’s been your most recent success? You know I count baking a pie or getting the mail on a day when your joints hurt, so nothing is too small!

Until next time, harness the Little darknesses and embrace the Little things.