Thinking of an October I loved

Morning darklings,

October is upon us. It’s the season of dark yard displays, darker stories, and even darker movies. The season of falltivities and crunchy leaves and the beginning of nightly hot cocoa o’clock. The I-read-in-the-world-more-than-usual season. The weather is perfect season. Spooky season. Oh, how I love October.

Years ago, I worked at a one screen movie theatre. At the time, I was also a special effects makeup artist.

My first year in the business equated to a portfolio with six photos—two of which I took, the others were from my first movie. It was proof I did A Thing, but not a range. I wanted to walk into any room with a leather-bound portfolio with ten to twelve photos showcasing my range of high fashion and strange to the goriest throat ripped out. I thought that was how you convinced people you were worth something. The proof is in the pudding. Right?

When October of that first year came around, I had the brilliant idea to dress up every day of the month. If I was going to work, I’d go all out. If I was going on errands or seeing a friend or staying in, things would be a different level of effort.

Now, it’s important to remember that I was 18 at the time. I had energy, I was a chronic Starbucks drinker, I had free time, and I (I cannot emphasize this enough) Did Not Sleep.

So I planned them out. I would be a gemstone troll toy, a zombie with a delightfully long and overly complicated death story, a ghost from The Orphanage (turned out to be a little too obscure for all but one person I saw that night), Columbia from Rocky Horror Picture Show, Esmerela from the Hunchback of Notre Dame, and so many others. It took three months to get them together.

It was marvelous. I woke up October 1st to a closet of hangers in order of the month for the first and only time thus far in life. I was prepared for the next 31 days in a way I didn’t know was possible.

There wasn’t a day I didn’t have to explain that I was just doing this for fun to someone. The days I was meant to stay home turned into days out with friends.

You read that right, not only did I wear a costume every day for the entire month, I left the house and did something every day for the entire month. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience. I loved sating my Halloween desires.

It wasn’t just the costumes that did it. It was the parties, the candy, the yard decor, the house decorations, the themed food, the shopping, the crafts.

Positively delicious.

Since, things have calmed.

As my body has worsened, aged, gotten more fatigued and full of pain, October is more complicated. It’s no longer crackling with energy, it’s more subdued. My love for it is still in my bones, but now grief is nestled alongside it. That used to hurt to say, to think about, really. Now, I’m accustomed to a lower-key Autumn.

My lists aren’t what to wear every day along with what to do every day along with what to do most nights along with what seasonal things must happen in addition to that. Oh, and work.

Now, the one list I have has 14 things presented as a bingo card on my fridge. The falltivities are meant for the entire season, rather than just October. Apple picking, Halloween lights, walk in a new park, you know the truest way to enjoy the season. Yes, wearing a costume is on the list. But it’s only on there once. And I definitely didn’t mention how elaborate it needs to be.

this month’s important dates

• October 18th—Telltale PDX reading. More info very soon.

• October 24th—Story Rich Art will be published and available as a paperback and ebook. It’ll be available on Amazon and my website in paperback. Amazon, my website, and the whole world will have the ebook. I’m working on it being available elsewhere in paperback. But until then.

• October 25th—HWA reading at the Beaverton library 1-3 pm. I’ll have specifics on my reading time soon.

some vibes

Until next time, harness the Little darknesses and embrace the Little things.